I often fail to generate sufficient motivation to connect–in a personal context–deeply and emotionally with someone if there’s not early, easy rapport. 10 years of Steals and Deals: Up to 87% off Color Wow, hair dryers and more! not employees “I had very few expectations about what that would actually look like. Rebels sometimes rebel harder the more they’re being pushed to do something. And I hope it’s true in life more generally. People can say whatever they’d like, to whomever they’d like, about whatever they’d like—so long as their comment relates to something that’s happening “in the room.”. Lots of people are bad at receiving constructive feedback, even if they say they appreciate it. It cost many thousands of dollars. So while there were guidelines and directions, largely it was the magic of what played out in the room in the presence of everybody in the room. The word “that” negates the feeling emotion. For hours and hours at a time my heart beat a little more quickly than normal—talking about feelings and emotions with complete strangers. Often people would deliver “feedback” to others in the group. But there’s a crucial difference between how I’ve been taught Buddhist meditation and how the facilitators of this Touchy Feely workshop taught feelings. If you’re still getting to know someone or it’s a workplace setting, it’s murkier water. This can cause participants to say or do things they don’t actually believe, simply to earn their approval. openings. “My instinct before coming into that class was, if somebody said something, I would try to brush it off and let it go and not address it. For Neha Samdaria, Touchy Feely changed her outlook completely. Inside Stanford’s ‘Touchy Feely’ class on emotional intelligence At Stanford University’s elite Graduate School of Business, one popular class, nicknamed “Touchy Feely,” is … In our format, each day began with a lecture on some topic related to interpersonal connection, followed by an activity to “generate data for t-group.” For example, pair up with one person and share something you’re struggling with in life. So talking about feelings was not expected and not encouraged. He says Touchy Feely gave him insight into how what he says is received by others. The overall experience was incredibly emotionally intense for me. Such a simple idea; so hard to truly embrace. Being silent for 10 days hardly resembles real world. I heard Joe’s feedback as rather compassionate, not arrogant like Jane did.” It’s a vivid reminder that the same words and intonation can land differently on different people. Simple things like that.”. 2 ppl take…, RT @Kafkaesque_Blog: The love and trust of an animal is Nature's Prozac and a gift to us that some people cruelly abuse or fail to appre…, RT @levynews: AWS has over 9,000 job openings People talked about it being ‘transformational,’ but what does that really mean? The experience of Touchy Feely has been particularly helpful in Nicholas’ professional work, where she brings together diverse groups of people who are not normally in a room together and builds trust and works through problems. Here are some of the most interesting pieces of self-knowledge I gleaned from spending four days in the lab: Rebel. “Whatever is omitted, is not only unspoken but unspeakable.” – Adrienne Rich. If you notice a feeling, the instruction is to keep noticing it – and eventually it’ll probably fade away; after all, emotions (along with all other phenomena in life) are impermanent. “You can’t counteract emotion with logic,” she says. All things being equal, I’d rather connect deeply with everyone. Authenticity is complicated. At some point that will change. At Stanford GSB, “Touchy Feely” is the informal name for the MBA program’s most popular course, Interpersonal Dynamics. Jumping into the deep end of the pool—even if not normal reality—can teach you some things about normal reality. AFOG = Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth. I wonder if I would have received a different reaction had I more outwardly cried. At Stanford University’s prestigious Graduate School of Business, it’s been the most popular elective in their MBA program for 45 years. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel. Animesh Agrawal, who graduated from GSB this spring, tells P&Q that he had heard of the course before coming to school because all the Stanford alumni he talked to cited it as a highlight. “The tools and framework and skills that we developed during the Touchy Feely class have really been invaluable in all of our work,” she says. For example, “Why did you say that thing to Nancy?” Softer approach would be: “What was going on for you when you said that thing to Nancy?” Another example is the difference between: “Why are you going to London next week?” (if the decision to do the trip is particularly sensitive/delicate) versus “What’s going on for you, or what feelings do you have, regarding the London trip?”. The question comes down to effort. Of course, this may be the flip side of my earlier point about the benefit of jumping into the deep end of the pool—only by fully embracing instructions and format can you maximize the experience. Specific useful nuggets/frameworks/acronyms I learned during the retreat: I feel grateful for the opportunity to have participated in this workshop and I want to thank the facilitators and other participants for their contributions in making it such a provocative, mind-expanding experience for me. It sounded me to like a massive gender generalization…” Then the other person would reply, “I’m disappointed you feel angry, as that was not my intention…” After a couple more back and forths, one person might say: “Thank you for that. For example, if you ask someone, “Did you father force you to go to soccer camp as a kid?” then you might follow-on by saying, “Where I am in the question is that my father forced me to participate in such camps, so I may be projecting.”, Asking someone the plain question “Why?” can generate a defensive response if the topic is sensitive.
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